NHL 09 on the Cheap

A few months back I wrote an entry detailing how REDACTED was selling NHL 07 for the stupidly amazing price of $30 American despite the fact that the title had been out for more than three years and other retailers, online and otherwise, offered the same title for a lot less. As is customary for myself I made a bunch of quips about how outdated this place is, how they're going out of business and so on.

While this might still be technically true I now feel obligated to share an update on this situation. Turns out that about a month and a half after my post graced the front of the internet I found NHL 09 at the same store for $5.99. I of course had a surrogate buy it for me instantly. Now, while this is truly a noteworthy occurrence, I should also note that NHL 07 remains available for $30.

What does this all mean? well that one of my initial thoughts was accurate: its not that the place still wants that much for a three year old outdated game but rather their pricing system was horribly outdated when it came to software. NHL 07 fell through the cracks and was never marked down. NHL 09, on the other hand, was marked down as soon as NHL 10 came out.

So at least their situation is getting better. REDACTED was (and still is) getting eaten alive by more savvy retailers such as Wal Mart and Target not to mention the online competitors. The biggest problem here, aside from the loss of revenue, is that this situation did not help this place shake off its image as an old, outdated store in which your parents used to shop but you wouldn't be caught dead in. Everybody's parents eventually die and once that happens you've just lost your base.

It's a good sign that they're getting their shit together but by no means does this make REDACTED even relevant as compared to the realities of today's mercantile situation.

Fuck Yeah

Great meme...or the greatest meme?

Happy New Year!

And a happy new year to all! this is not the time to talk about how quickly this decade, let alone this year, passed by. It did for sure but tonight is not the time to talk about it. No tonight is a time to celebrate in style.

And for me that means a night spent with some Carlsberg, Rockband, the Girlfriend and possibly Inglourious Basterds on Blu Ray. Indeed I am not one to go out and socialize throughout the year so I'm not about to start doing so at the end of the year. It also means a continuation of the tradition of going in to work the next day with a hangover.

As for the blog...its been a good nine months hasn't it? sure we continuously fluctuate between actual reviews of old video games (the object of the blog after all), Street fighter praise and nonsensical diatribes regarding a fictitious character killing off a skull balaclava wearing homie of mine but that's all part of the fun. Do I dare make any promises as to whats coming up in 2010? I do not, mainly because I have no idea what's coming up in 2010.

That's it for now. Happy 2010.

Mario Bros Wii - Gameplay

Just yesterday I finished (NEW) Super Mario Bros. Wii (horrible title) the best game to have ever come out for the forsaken console and was wondering how to tackle it in blog form. Mega post? separate entries focusing on individual aspects? ignoring it completely? I finally decided to go the separate entries route so today we focus on gameplay. Other entries will deal with powerups, characters and so on.

This game is a piece of retro gaming deliciousness. The mechanics are identical to every sidescrolling Mario game from the original Mario Bros. to the numbered entries, World, and the DS titles. Yes despite the gameplay being so familiar we haven't had a game like this on a full size console since Mario World on the SNES. Instead we've been treated to variations on the Mario theme in the form of Mario 64, Sunshine and even Galaxy. Not bad games by any stretch but if I want to play a 3D platformer I'll just...well actually I don't want to play a 3D platformer.

Of course the main differences are the better graphics (better but not in the same league as what Microsoft and Sony are doing) and the inclusion of some of the Wii remote's unique uses. For the most part, however, the game consists of Mario making his way through very long 2D stages, getting powerups along the way, jumping obstacles, destroying baddies, grabbing coins and so on.

The game is markedly more difficult then anything with the Mario title in the past. The stages are huge and powerups are scattered at the rate of maybe 1.5 mushrooms per stage. If this seems scant (and it is) its nothing compared to the number of Yoshi's scattered along, by my count the green dinosaur appears only in three stages and if you make it to the end of a stage with Mario will dismount and wave goodbye to him before going to the next stage. Yep, gone are the days when you could simply go back and grab a Yoshi.

While the powerups are limited the baddies and pratfalls are not. The jumps have to be better timed, the baddies are fiercer and more varied. While the game is incredibly difficult in single player it gets exponentially worse in multiplayer. Yes its awesome that four players can play at the same time but it leads to fucking pandemonium. There are many ways to play multiplayer: when everybody fends for themselves it sucks because you're playing on one screen and all characters have to be on that screen at all times which means you have to wait for your retarded cousin to get to where you are before advancing, when playing cooperatively it sucks because the game slows down and you find yourself just carrying your retarded cousin (in the form of a nameless yellow toad) to the next level.

But playing in single player is incredibly fun precisely because its so challenging. You can grab one of the older Mario sidescrollers and beat it in a few hours, in a day at the most, but not so with this game. It took me a solid week to finish it and for this the game developers must be commended. They took a formula which we're all familiar with and made it challenging. And for the better because, honestly, at this point who can't start playing any older Mario game and finish it within the same day?

Replay value is added in the form of star coins or coinstars or whatever they're called. Three huge coins with star imprints are scattered through in each level. Now at first you're only told you can use them to buy hint videos (useless) but then Peach (Toadstool) teases something about world 9 after you finish the game and how you can only play through it once you have every star coin from each stage. Fucking great. I just spent a whole week thinking I didn't need these things and now I have to go back? ugh.

But in the end its an awfully enjoyable game. It's very difficult but its also very difficult to put down. I found my wii remotes constantly needing new batteries (something I've never seen before) and I really appreciated Nintendo not having me stand on some sort of board or making ninja slices or attachments and shit to actually enjoy this game. The best games for Nintendo consoles are those made by Nintendo. This is both a blessing and a curse because you often end up with shitty third party titles but then again the proprietary titles are so good that it makes you want to get a Nintendo console because you cant find these anywhere else.

Coming soon: Talking about power-ups, characters and the long promised Koopa Kids post.

Loser of the Week: TMZ. Haha you spent countless thousands of dollars for an old tattered up picture that purports to show John F Kennedy whoring it up on a boat with some naked Europeans, you call such picture potentially history altering....then it turns out all you bought is a photoshopped version of a picture that originally ran in a 1960's issue of playboy featuring paid models including "Andy" who doesnt even look like JFK. Hahaha, and you put your ubiquitous watermark on it! thus assuring the internet that your dumbassery will live on forever.

Happy Xmas

Happy Christmas from myself and Bad Mr Frosty. Man talk about creating an entire video game around a single character! The original Clay Fighter had eight playable characters (I believe that is the minimum) and most were not thought out at all, except for Mr Frosty. Let us now take a look:

Taffy - A piece of Taffy? this guy is essentially the clay version of a stick figure.

Blob - Ok we need an extra character and we have this lump of clay left how do we reconcile these facts? googly eyes!

Helga - Yes an actual humanoid but whats up with that breast plate? her torso consists of three round pieces of clay, thats pretty lazy.

Tiny - The ugliest wrestler in a video game ever. More googly eyes!

Bonker - Ok Bonker is pretty cool, Ill give em that.

Blue Suede Goo - Good concept but his entire body is made up of one lump of clay, there is no detail whatsoever.

Ichabod Clay - A Pumpkin head with a piece of rag for a body. The Pumpkin is detailed, nothing else is. Also the internet has no picture of him (there's one in that Bonker pic)

N. Boss - the laziest most throw-away boss ever. Is that a pearl necklace with, yes, googly eyes?

It's unfair to criticize this game as it did what it could with what it had and if I remember correctly it was pretty enjoyable. It just happens that I'm a horrible person.

So again, Happy Christmas! (I don't like the word merry, when was the last time you saw it used in a none xmas situation? Merry Melodies and Robin Hood's Merry Men both relics of the 50's). Bad Mr. Frosty might be a great christmassy character but you know who's better? Sumo Santa. He says Happy Christmas too.

Stages: Balrog

Note: the title should be read as a parody of David Bowie's "Changes" (i.e Staaa aages)

Today we take a break from the usual Modern Warfare 2 stuff and come back to an old classic: the stages post. Balrog (or Mike Bison, or Vega or Boxer) is the second boss character in the original Street Fighter and the third American we profile. Just like Ken and Guile's, Balrog's stage shows us a completely different aspect of American culture: the excess most commonly associated with Las Vegas.

It would have been too obvious to have Balrog's stage be an actual boxing ring. It would have also been very interesting seeing how Vega's stage was so unorthodox, another odd stage with different properties would have been fun to play in. Balrog could have projected off the ropes and landed devastating punches, alas he still lands devastating punches but does so with significantly less theatrics.

Instead he's fighting in the middle of the Las Vegas strip, in front of the Golden Nugget Casino no less, which shares the backdrop with some fancy cars, bikini-clad women and a substantial array of pimps. This fits in perfectly with Balrog, especially as his character evolved throughout the series. He is portrayed as a less than average intellect who uses exceeding brute force and fights strictly for the money.

Does the stage portray the excesses of capitalism? of American culture? not exactly. The kind of depravity that goes in in Vegas, if you're willing to believe their own motto or "The Hangover", is very specific and unique to Vegas. What we are seeing, then, is not commentary on American decay but rather on that of Las Vegas. That this might be what some choose to think about when they think of the U.S is a whole other discussion and is completely reliant on that person's own values and viewpoints. In other words its just as valid to think this is America as it is to think that the wild west, the slums of Detroit or the concept of gum smacking is what represents us (and this blogger can now, happily say "us" as he recently became a U.S citizen). We are informed by our perceptions, obviously, but we choose which perceptions to believe.

The stage itself is awfully lively. The characters in the back move around quite a bit, the music is fast paced and the challenge of facing Balrog and his quick punches and charge attacks is something that feels completely in place in such a stage. That Balrog was originally an unlicensed clone of Mike Tyson doesn't hurt either. We've all seen Vegas fights and are familiar with the tacky glamour that accompanies them, here is a chance to take part of this glamour, in 1992 using a green electric beast man.

The stage received a great update in the recent HD remake of Street Fighter II. The bikini wearing women remain as do the pimps (one of which looks like a white Snoop Dogg meets Daniel Day Lewis in Gangs of New York) but a douchebag wearing a baseball hat and basketball shorts (poker player? yeah definitely) and an escalade have been added. Oh yeah this is excess. This is decay, this is, and they will be the first to tell you, Vegas.

Doom Indeed

So here it is. My reward for finally beating Modern Warfare 2. Not that it was a particularly difficult endeavor, the game itself is pretty short, but it was immensely satisfying. Never had a game immersed me so deeply into its narrative. Sure when I first played Bully I wanted to get myself an Astronomy Club vest but this actually had me depressed when one of my war buddies was been killed.

Yes I did take that picture from the Call of Duty Wiki but I also took a picture of it when it appeared on my TV. For proof of course. I did manage to get my hands on a copy of the first Modern Warfare, the one I couldn't finish because it was stolen by a crackhead when I was barely getting started with it. Sure I'll finish this one too but what I really want is to get my hands on the third MW. Yes I realize that just a month ago I was making fun of this game. No I dont care.