Pricing Schemes

Since I posted that entry about Infinity Ward's upcoming "Stimulus Package" map pack I've had a chance to not only think about the whole thing but actually learn the price that this stimulus will cost us. Turns out the price will be 1200 Microsoft Points which translates into $15 American and about 15,000 Schrute Bucks.

That's a whole lot of Schrute bucks.

Yes this price sucks, yes its double that of the map packages that were available for the first Modern Warfare and yes out of the five included maps two are actually old maps from that first MW title.

In effect what Infinity Ward, or more accurately Activision, is doing is stealing from its rabid base. Fifteen dollars is too much money for any add-on, regardless of how many hours us players and them creators have invested in the game. Fifteen dollars is 25% of the cost of the friggin game despite the fact that you're not getting 25% more game.

The problem is that Activision does in fact hold a monopoly on the add-ons and expansions for this game. As such they, like the East India Company and AT&T before them, have the ability to charge whatever the fuck they want for their product. I'm not saying this is fair, quite the opposite actually, but I'm saying this is a fact. It's an unfortunate side effect of the online stores and the add-ons market as a whole.

I don't have a problem with paying for extra content but I do have a problem with being gouged for extra content and this is exactly what's occurring here. Actually I'm surprised this sort of thing didn't occur earlier. It seems like at some point we all agreed how much a bonus costume, a bonus stage, an actual game should cost and have been living with these costs ever since. Now Activision realizes that we'll pay just about anything and goes ahead and doubles their prices.

This might be the final stand for the Modern Warfare franchise too. Not because its fans will suddenly feel robbed and stop playing the game but because of the entire fiasco that was the firing of Infinity Ward's head developers. The Modern Warfare franchise will live on but will it really if the games are being created by someone else? I know that Call of Duty games have been developed by all sorts of different companies but this is no longer Call of Duty, this is a whole new beast, one that has far surpassed the original and one who's fanbase will only take so many slaps to the face. This pricing scheme was the second one, we'll see how many more they dish out.

Mapathy

Can we start salivating now? five new maps for Modern Warfare 2 will be released on March 30th. So that's the date I get over my complaining about how Microsoft insulted me eh? well played Microsoft, well played.

And because the internet can't keep secrets here is a video detailing the five maps that are coming out: Storm, Complex, Crash, Overgrown and Compact. Hmm...even if there are only two map packs with five maps each that still takes the grand total to 26 different maps. I'm not saying that the current 16 don't offer great variety but with the addition of ten more it looks like the fun will literally never stop.

Or actually it seems like the fun will stop because of the whole Infinity Ward vs. Activision crap but thats a topic for another day.

In Which Microsoft Insults Me

A few days ago my Xbox Live Gold subscription ended rendering me unable to play Modern Warfare (or I suppose any other game) online. I wasn't too upset, after all I had paid only $5 out of pocket for a three month subscription. I had made peace with my progress in the game and was ready to take a break from it. It was, you could say, an amicable separation between me and Xbox.

Flash forward to today and an email I received from Microsoft informing me that I was eligible for a special offer in which I'd be able to renew my Gold subscription for a year for only $3.33 a month. That still adds up to about $40 but its less than the typical $50 yearly fee and way better than the $7.99 fee that they charge you if you pay monthly. This was the email sent to me:
I clicked on the offer button and was transferred to the Live.Xbox.Com page, I signed in and was then told that that promotional offer was not available to me at this time. Wait what? Look I'll be honest I probably wasn't get the offer anyway (its not a great offer especially since WalMart will sell you a year for $30) but I was curious to see the offer and actually think about it. It was good to see that they cared enough to try to get me back with a special offer, now I see that they actually don't care to have me back that much.

Clicking the "ok" button took me to a screen selling me the one year $50 deal, the three month $20 deal or the 1 month $8 deal. There was no option to select the fuck off deal.

The issue here, however, is not whether Xbox wants me back or not, its not whether I want to get back to Modern Warfare as soon as possible or not. The issue is that they sent me an email and then friggin lied to me. They offered me a special deal (just for me!) and then promptly told me that I wasn't qualified to receive such a special deal. I know that Microsoft is a heartless multinational corporation that could give a fuck about me or any other Xbox Live user but I don't need to be promised something and then have that taken away.

For that I say fuck off Microsoft, I needed a break from video games anyway.

Hipstamatic

Hipstamatic is hands down the greatest iPhone app ever made. Essentially its a camera app with a bunch of filters in the form of different camera lenses, flashes and film which make your pictures come out as nice retro looking little squares. The pictures come up with a character and a depth that is can only be achieved with the cameras of the sixties, seventies and eighties. No high definition, super megapixel finery. It's sweet and to the point.

The interface is pretty sweet: a plastic camera with a view finder, a flash button and some other crap. The standard package comes with three lenses, a standard flash and two or three films. Three more "hipstapacks" are available for purchase and after buying those you now have an entire package with (by my count) 216 different combinations all for a total of $5.

All of this just so I can justify showing that kickass picture of me in my Ghost mask. Yes I bought a Ghost mask. It comes straight from the UK (you know just like Ghost) and is completely badass even without the sunglasses, beanie and headphones which would complete the look. We still miss you Ghost.

Picture Post 10

I've been on a real patriotic kick lately. Not sure if its because of my recent conversation to American citizenship or because I've been watching John Adams or because I've begun to appreciate a Sam Adams. So on to the military. We have the most badass military either because of or in spite of having a convoluted military industrial complex. Either way the real people who to go war are the soldiers and not the corporations, this here is one badass American soldier.

Inspired by or the inspiration for Ghost?

If Video Games Were Named....

College Humor has been surprisingly funny and less fratboy-ish lately. It's surprising actually, I used to have to be a 6 foot tall white guy from a red state to enjoy it but now it regularly features shit that even my sophisticated asocial persona finds appealing.

For example see today's "If videogames were named after the phrases said most while playing them" feature. I have found myself saying that exact phrase when playing Modern Warfare 2 though the one I've said most times (in multiplayer) has to be "oh a grenade launcher? HOW FUCKING ORIGINAL!!!!" and "I'm shooting you in the fucking head! Why WONT YOU DIE!" But I'm sure that's just me.

So go to the link and see a few more. Unfortunately it's literally only a few more, get to work College Humor!

Link

Loser of (Last) Week
-San Diego football fans. Why? WHY!!! do you do this to us every fucking year Chargers? Jesus Christ, so much promise followed up by so much mediocrity. It's sad! the Pats have three SuperBowls, The Colts possibly two, Big Ben has two and we have exactly nothing. Well we have the best team in the league but we have nothing to show for it. I'm almost tempted to refer to our team as the Buffalo Bills of the '00s but the Bills at least went to the SuperBowl.

Guns n' Irony

This is my Tar 21 Assault Rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. And so on and so forth. Ive grown accustomed to using the Tavor Assault Rifle as my default weapon in Modern Warfare 2's online multiplayer so much so that all of my customized classes use the rifle with differing scopes, attachments, special grenades etc etc.

Of course thats not actually my Tar 21, mine is often times decked in urban, digital or forestry camo. Coming soon: blue and red tiger!. Also mine is contained squarely inside a video game and not, you know, in real life.

Now to the irony! before even getting the rifle I named my classes as follows: Jihadi, Hezbollah, Hamas, Sandinista, Partizan. Great names, all related to different militias and/or revolutionary and/or resistance groups either of the socialist or Arab nationalist persuasion. I'm not just doing for the names, you see, I actually know about these groups, I've studied them, I understand the implications of having them present. I'm not necessarily in favour of any of these groups but I am aware of them. It's not a tribute, its mostly an acknowledgement.

This isn't the ironic part, the irony is that the Tar 21 is an Israeli weapon, used prominently by the Israeli Defense Forces against, among other groups, Hezbollah and Hamas. Ha! Ok maybe its not ha ha funny but it is certainly noteworthy. Obviously there's no political statement being made here. In the eternal struggle between the Israelis and the Palestinians who is right? I don't know. I don't side with either of them really. Certainly nobody is right when blood is being shed for moral or religious reasons but thats neither the scope of this post or of this blog.

And that is that. I haven't written about MW in a while so I thought I'd bring the topic back. I'm getting better at it. Now instead of killing four baddies and being killed 22 times its more like a 12-12 ratio which won't get you an atomic bomb but its good enough for third or fourth place.

Doom Indeed

So here it is. My reward for finally beating Modern Warfare 2. Not that it was a particularly difficult endeavor, the game itself is pretty short, but it was immensely satisfying. Never had a game immersed me so deeply into its narrative. Sure when I first played Bully I wanted to get myself an Astronomy Club vest but this actually had me depressed when one of my war buddies was been killed.

Yes I did take that picture from the Call of Duty Wiki but I also took a picture of it when it appeared on my TV. For proof of course. I did manage to get my hands on a copy of the first Modern Warfare, the one I couldn't finish because it was stolen by a crackhead when I was barely getting started with it. Sure I'll finish this one too but what I really want is to get my hands on the third MW. Yes I realize that just a month ago I was making fun of this game. No I dont care.

For my Homie

Let me take a moment to pour some of my 40 on the curb for my homie Ghost. Today while on assignment in an estate looking for information on a known terrorist in Russia we were both gunned down by a fucking traitor who then proceeded to steal our information and burn us alive with gasoline. To add insult to injury he lighted the fire using his cigar. Fucking ponce.

Ghost was a consummate badass who saved my life a couple of times and led us to success in more than a few missions. His impeccable leadership and knowledge of computers and jails got us through that crazy stage where we broke a bloke out of prison. His trademark skull mask scared the shit out of enemy combatants. Fuck he even has his own comic book! but now he's dead and he's (probably) not coming back.

Motherfuck that Shepherd guy. Now I'm gonna have to kill him.

Loser of the Week: Time Magazine. You named Ben Bernanke the person of the year? why? for not fucking up the economy even more? I thought his job was to fix this thing, it doesn't look like its getting fixed. Well unless you're a Wall Street CEO who's bonus is protected by the government. Good job Time Magazine, just two years ago you picked another consummate badass (Putin), last year you picked the most powerful man in the world (Obama) and this year you pick some moron. You shoulda picked the guys who created Twitter but you pussied out.

More Modern Warfare

You know for someone who doesn't really care for Modern Warfare 2 I sure do write a lot of entries about it. Here's another one!

Being the nerd that I am I've always been fascinated by insignias, logos and so on be they military, commercial, athletic, you name it. If it has an identity I'm interested in it. This is probably why I have a collection of patches, probably why I have Uniwatch on my RSS feed.

My favourite part of Modern Warfare besides the pointless violence, then, is the various teams that are available in multiplayer. There are a total of six different teams all with their own unique logos, in-game chatter, uniforms and so on. Today we take a look at these teams identities, look for inspirations in the real life and compare them according to overall badassery. I apologize in advance for the poor quality of the emblems, apparently they haven't made their way to the internet yet so I just borrowed them from some youtube vids.

-Rangers - An obvious one, these guys represent the United States Army, specifically the Army Rangers. The colours and the star are borrowed directly from the widely used U.S Army logo (the one that accompanies all the swag you pick up at high school job fairs). The star also appears on the Rangers insignia. Sadly there is not a single trace of a lightning bolt on the game emblem but at least they kept the gold, the rifles complete the coat of arms in the most literal way possible. As for badassery? the Rangers have a swagger about them with their insistence on leading the way.

-Seals - The U.S Navy, the emblem has an eagle holding onto a sword whereas in the actual emblem the eagle is holding either an anchor or a trident or whatever else it can get its claws on. The emblem is finished off with a globe and what appears to be the Star Trek logo in the background. The SEALs have always been the most acclaimed and famous special ops team in the U.S military. They also have that swagger about them in the game but their crop is certainly devalued since all teams have the same abilities. In reality the Seals would probably kick the most ass.

-Task Force 141 - The main group in the single player game, I've always considered them the British team and with good reason, not only do the soldiers talk in British accents but the emblem is based on the British Special Air Services (SAS) division. The skull and the crazy looking plane in the back are an addendum as is the laurel which helps frame the emblem. The badassery of this team is seen in the single player campaign, ergo I have yet to see it.

-OpFor - The Middle Eastern team, an ultranational (but not Islamist?) faction that fights in the streets and mountain tops wearing assorted keffiyehs and other assorted terrorist ware. The logo is a typical one for an Islamist group, it instantly reminded me of the logo of the real life Muslim Brotherhood. The various swords, the crescent moon, the flame in the back, they really went for all the markers and were able to fit them into an emblem that can fit into any faction in any country in the Middle East. They're fun to use because you're using the bad guys, but not a lot of badassery.

-Spetsnaz - Quickly close your eyes and think of two things that scream "Communism". Chances are at least one of those two things is either a red star or the hammer and sickle. The Spetsnaz emblem in the game is just that, a hammer and sickle inside a red star. It doesn't get much more Soviet than that. The real Spetsnaz did not have an official logo and it appears that the one used in the game is based on that used by the KGB. Since the Red Army is no more, Russian intelligence falls under the umbrella of the Glavnoye Razvedyvatel'noye Upravleniye or GRU, naturally this new organization no longer uses the old communist insignia. When you constantly use the word "comrade", by the way, your badass level is through the roof.

-Militia - Finally the Brazilian militia which isn't modeled after any particular group but is sort of a representation of similar groups found throughout the world at various times. A clandestine, revolutionary group with a particular goal: usually to overthrow the government but frequently just to work as an organized crime syndicate. These are not soldiers but ordinary malcontents, their emblem is a red hand which is reminiscent of other movements that have sought change through revolutionary means. It is also fairly easy to reproduce: after a political killing simply dab your hand in the blood of your enemy and press it against the wall, bam! instant calling card. The militia is also up there not because they're taking on some of the most powerful military forces in the world while wearing casual clothing but rather because one of their members dares wear a Boca Juniors shirt. In Brazil. That dude has got some balls.

Modern Warfare

We got Modern Warfare 2 for the 360 about a week ago, despite my lack of interest in playing games in which you control a gun that shoots others (I know I made that joke before) I found that the combination of the hype surrounding the game as well as my basically free 3 month Xbox Live Gold subscription has had me playing it pretty frequently.

I mentioned in my previous mockery of a post that the usual critiques of a military game, including the glorification and nationalist spirit, applied here but do not necessarily demerit from the experience. It has been my experience, rather, that militarism and nationalism and all other isms though present are fairly contained in this game.

Glorification of the military is limited in online multiplayer. Sure you mainly play with a group focused on a single objective but your team members are hardly united in the same manner as in the actual military. There is a lack of comradeship here probably because you have not spent time training with these guys, you don't care if they die and so on. There are also a number of different factions which fight it out and which you don't select. It's difficult to form a bond to the Rangers or the SEALs, for example, when at any given point you are assigned to be a member of the Red Army or a Muslim Jihadist. Now the Brazilian militia? that's just absurd.

Nationalism is mainly present in the form of selectable titles that consist of a variety of national flags. Yes if you're American you can use an American flag, if you're Mexican a Mexican and so on. Obviously anybody whose willing to use these things instead of other callsigns are predisposed to do so from an earlier age as a product of a specific upbringing. But even when you know this shit, when you think the way I do, you still cant help but wear a comm device and let everybody know that you've just been killed by a Chinaman or that you just shot a Filipino or that that Mexican is really starting to fucking annoy you. It's not necessarily a bad thing, its actually kinda fun.

That's enough of this. I don't want to go into specifics because its not my thing and, honestly, there are very few defects in this game. It's fun, it appeals to a certain instinct, its highly customizable. It's like Tamagotchi for men.

Loser of the Week:
-Gillette. Haha, what the fuck? first Thierry Henry cheats his way into the World Cup now Tiger Woods cheats on his wife? you better hope Roger Federer doesn't kill a hooker any time soon.

The Onion: Modern Warfare

Apparently today is a big day in video game land as Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 was released to throngs of anxious fanboys waiting to get a glimpse of life on the barracks. I must admit all this love for this game sorta appeared out of nowhere, it seems like three or so weeks ago everybody started talking about, Wal Mart started making some of their annoying "did you get ______ yet" commercials that only air during Madden season and people were going gaga over a special package that gives you actual night vision goggles. Because that's what you need.

Anyway you can always count on The Onion to lampoon such an occurrence. This time they've produced a video talking about Modern Warfare 3 which promises the most realistic military gameplay ever. Everything from "waiting around for hours" and "cleaning humvees" to countless fun "hauling equipment" and "filling out paperwork". These are only a few of the jokes in the beginning of the news story. It only gets better. I rarely laugh out loud to anything I read or see online but I was definitely Lol'ing with this video.

I wont embed the video because two video posts in a row would be gauche. Watch for the link at the end of this entry. I'm not against this game per se, I just dont really care much for it. I had the first MW and I played it for a bit before it was stolen by (I assume) some crackhead. Of course I found that it glorified military life to a great extent but I'm not enough of a fucking liberal blowhard to be offended by it. People trying to make the military look badass? my that's shocking! I also find that games in which you control an arm holding a gun don't really hold my attention for very long. Yes at this point in my life I'd rather play a fake guitar than shoot a few fake Afghans.

But getting back to the Onion video, it appears it was somewhat produced with the aide of the developers of this game which means that they at least have a sense of humour and realize that their game might be exaggerate what the military does and are willing to take a few jabs at the whole situation.

Aaaaanyways, watch the video here:
Ultra Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks - The Onion