The King

This review for The Lion King for the SNES is only a placeholder. Why? because this game is so incredibly frustrating that I haven't been able to get past the second stage even though I've been playing it for the past two weeks. I haven't played it for long periods of time, mind you, but that's mainly because frustration sets in pretty quickly when fuckin Simba cant seem to swing on Hippo tails regardless of what button combinations one pushes. Phew that needed to get out. Like I said: placeholder, once I get around to beating it we'll have a closer look.

First of all the game is developed by Virgin. I had no idea Virgin even produced video games but I suppose it is a necessary step between space travel and bankrupt music stores. What is even more impressive, and a sign of the times, is that they actually had a Disney license. I know Disney will license just about anything but it says a lot about the unimportance of video games in 1994 that just anybody got a license from the big D.

The game starts off simply enough, you shuffle through some basic screens until Timon says "it starts" and you begin wandering around the Pridelands as Simba, jumping on assorted bugs, hedgehogs and lizards. It looks a lot like a non-CG Donkey Kong actually: a platformer set in a vividly colored jungle all set to great music (Lion King uses the music from the movie). But the similarities sorta end there, this game is not nearly as deep as Donkey Kong, its levels are much shorter and it is often more difficult to understand.

For example Simba doesn't actually have a life meter or any other logical way of knowing how close he is from dying. It seems that at random intervals, after an unknown number of hits, he just tips over. There are two bars at the top of the screen (which look like battery meters on a phone) but I have no idea what they mean. One of them measures how hard Simba can growl (I think) but he roars the same way regardless of whether its full or not. He also collects a bunch of random upgrades which, also, don't seem to have a purpose.

The artwork is great, I'd say that they spent most of their budget on graphics and forgot about gameplay. The characters look like those in the film, right down to the supporting animals which keep their great art deco style from the big screen. The game also features nicely done cut scenes with Mufasa, Rafiki and the rest of the gang.

Frustration begins to set in when you realize that the pretty art is a front for the bad game play. Sure its cool when Simba has to jump, ride and swing on animals but it sucks that there is no definite way to do these things. What's worse is that when you're required to jump from hippo tail to hippo tail five or six straight times and miss once Simba falls in a river (or on a birds nest, or something else) and you just lost a life. Yep, looks like Simba suffers from Megaman on spikes syndrome.

And that's what the second stage is about. I've gotten pretty close to beating it but he always falls! fuck if anybody ever needed opposable thumbs! It's a shame too because I want to keep playing this game. Not only because of my love of all things disney (except the Disney Channel) but also because some of the later stages look bad ass. Wildebeest run! older Simba! sure somewhere along the way Mufasa will die but we've had fifteen years to accept it and move on. Plus somewhere along the way Scar (one of the best villains in Disney ever) will make an appearance. I really should keep playing it.

Stay tuned I suppose.

Also: for no actual reason here's a picture of Bjork as a baby. Awwwww!